Tag: faith

How much poison will be enough?


Now, I don’t mean this kind of poison…

a4de1696c059326af05b22df385a5193

I think it’s what Nelson Mandela said:

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

I’m seriously giving this quote a lot of thought. Trying to find solace within myself.

200 words of honesty


I have elluded talking about myself here, in this humble little blog. I’ve hidden behind reblogged posts and musical choices. Even in the fact that I put myself a limit of 180 words to write something approaching honesty, that says a lot about where I’m coming from.

Highlights from the past year: the end of my marriage; A Season of Faith’s Perfection we could say. I can’t and won’t write any further about it, not right now at least.

Tattoos. Submissiveness. Deceit. Meltdowns. Romance. Optimism. Peace. Fear. Sex. Self. Misunderstandings. Solitude. Love.Truth.

Valentina 2

And I wonder
When I sing along with you 
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

It could all seem like a blur, I feel as though I’ve lived many lives throughout a 12-month period. Sometimes it’s like binging on a specific movie or tv show, or like going through a  playlist or song over and over again. Learned to be innocent, at times. Self-aware, cynical too.

But here I am, trying to have a Jerry Maguire moment of my own. Not sure If I’m getting across. Just wanted to be naked for a moment. If only for a moment.

But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine…


Sean: So if I asked you about art, you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you’d probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You’re a tough kid. And I’d ask you about war, you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, “once more unto the breach dear friends.” But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I’d ask you about love, you’d probably quote me a sonnet. But you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms “visiting hours” don’t apply to you. You don’t know about real loss, ’cause it only occurs when you’ve loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you… I don’t see an intelligent, confident man… I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you’re a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You’re an orphan right?

[Will nods]

Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally… I don’t give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can’t learn anything from you, I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that do you sport? You’re terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

Musings From a Recovering People Pleaser


Instant reblog… because I found it inspiring, and made me reevaluate the need for gratitude, an act and quality that I so have neglected.

for the love of hope

For those of you who don’t know, I’m what they call a “people pleaser” at the core of my nature. I spend way too much of my time and energy thinking about how to make people happy even if it makes me sad; if I absolutely have to say “no” to people, I spend heaps of hours mulling over their hurt feelings and searching my heart for how I can make things better.

I used to think this “people pleasing problem” was really not a problem at all. I mean c’mon, I’m TOO NICE?! I want people to be happy. I want people to like me. What’s the big deal?

However, over the last few years I’ve learned how this is indeed a big deal. It’s exhausting and self-deprecating. I try to take care of other people and be all selfless, and really I only end up hurting myself and…

View original post 838 more words

What Would Jesus Eat Today?


A good question to ask. I bet a merciful diet would be one he`d promote.

Honk If You're Vegan

funny-jesus-bread-fish-miracle-vegan

When my husband and I went vegan, my dad remarked, “I think it’s okay to eat meat because Jesus ate fish.” This stumped me. I didn’t know how to respond because my dad is a devout Catholic and a good man who lives in accordance with his faith. Who was I to challenge Jesus?

Unlike my dad, I don’t belong to a particular religion. Still, I believe that God probably exists and having grown up Christian I’m familiar with Jesus. Whether he’s God or God’s son I don’t know, but his kindness, love and compassion are undeniable.

I’m no bible scholar, but my dad’s probably right that Jesus ate fish. But does this mean that he didn’t care about animals? And does it mean that Christians shouldn’t consider the ethical significance of what they eat?

A Lot’s Changed in 2,000 Years!

I don’t know that the bible provides adequate information for…

View original post 308 more words

Living behind guarded gates: an interview with Mick Ukleja


Last year, I believe, I got to meet and interview best-selling author Mick Ukleja. I am kicking myself for not sharing this great moment in this blog.Best-selling author Mick Ukleja photograph by Duffboy

At the time of the interview, he had been 7 times to Guatemala.

More of a pleasure visit instead than just business, right?

Well, it`s never been just pleasure, although he [his liaison] tries to make it fun. [laughs]

According to your research, what are the most common reasons why people experience self-doubt?

That`s a great question, by the way. I think we often times don`t understand that we have more strength and willpower that we do. We look at everybody else,  looking at people and comparing ourselves. And so, I`m looking outside of myself, I`m looking at you and seeing: “Gee, he`s better looking than me, he`s smarter than me”. People never feel good enough: “It`s not enough, I`m not pretty enough, I`m not smart enough, I don`t have enough money”. Everybody, by the way, has self-doubt. The key is to realize that there`s no reason to have that self-doubt, that if we can begin to discover who we are deep down inside and discover that we have strengths and that we have talents, gifts, we can do just about it anything we want.

My problem will come when I compare myself with you. When I start comparing myself with you instead of seeing what I really have to offer I will always begin to self-doubt. Most people do that. If I were to say to you, “[What are you] on a scale of 1 to 10 (I`m not sure what you would say)” what would you say?

I would say I`m probably between a 6 or a 7.

And I would say you`re [grading yourself]  low. I see about an 8 or 9 in you. But, see, we always doubt ourselves. What I began to realize is we`re all in the same boat and we need to, rather than have self-doubt, look and see what I have to offer. I call it “self-leadership” and self-leadership means that I need to discover the strategies, behaviors and habits that will help me exert influence over myself and I can deploy my best self. I have a lot to offer and if I develop my own gifts, my own strengths, my own talents and look for ways to serve other people.

By the way, that’s another thing, one of the key things about self-doubt… the best way I can get over my self-doubt is that I can look to solve one of your problems: how can I help you become better? And it’s amazing how that self-doubt begins to go away. When I start to serve other people, which are my motivations, I want to serve you, by looking for ways to make you better, my self-doubt begins to go away, begins to fade. So, life-long service, life-long I have to maximize my talents but I see those talents as me reaching out and serving someone else. And if people would just begin to do that and start to believe in themselves just a bit, and realize what they’ve been given, they have so much to be thankful for. It’s amazing how that works. Continue reading “Living behind guarded gates: an interview with Mick Ukleja”

Grateful for the wisdom


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

Grateful, today, for finding these words.