Thinking about happiness and male behavior

The world lacks safe spaces. Stay safe tonight. 


Stay (Faraway, So Close)

One of my favorite U2 songs.

Green light, Seven Eleven,
You stop in for a pack of cigarettes.
You don’t smoke, don’t even want to.
Hey now, check your change.
Dressed up like a car crash
Your wheels are turnin’ but you’re upside down.
You say when he hits you, you don’t mind
Because when he hurts you, you feel alive.
Oh, is that what it is?

Red lights, grey morning
You stumble out of a hole in the ground.
A vampire or a victim
It depends on who’s around.
You used to stay in to watch the adverts
You could lip synch. to the talk shows.
And if you look, you look through me
And when you talk, you talk at me
And when I touch you, you don’t feel a thing.

If I could stay, then the night would give you up.
Stay, and the day would keep its trust.
Stay, and the night would be enough.

Faraway, so close
Up with the static and the radio.
With satellite television
You can go anywhere:
Miami, New Orleans
London, Belfast and Berlin.

And, if you listen, I can’t call.
And, if you jump, you just might fall.
And, if you shout, I’ll only hear you.

If I could stay, then the night would give you up.
Stay, and the day would keep its trust.
Stay with the demons you drowned.
Stay with the spirit I found.
Stay, and the night would be enough.

Three o’clock in the morning
It’s quiet, there’s no one around,
Just the bang and the clatter
As an angel runs to ground.
Just the bang and the clatter
As an angel hits the ground.

200 words of honesty

I have elluded talking about myself here, in this humble little blog. I’ve hidden behind reblogged posts and musical choices. Even in the fact that I put myself a limit of 180 words to write something approaching honesty, that says a lot about where I’m coming from.

Highlights from the past year: the end of my marriage; A Season of Faith’s Perfection we could say. I can’t and won’t write any further about it, not right now at least.

Tattoos. Submissiveness. Deceit. Meltdowns. Romance. Optimism. Peace. Fear. Sex. Self. Misunderstandings. Solitude. Love.Truth.

Valentina 2

And I wonder
When I sing along with you 
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again

It could all seem like a blur, I feel as though I’ve lived many lives throughout a 12-month period. Sometimes it’s like binging on a specific movie or tv show, or like going through a  playlist or song over and over again. Learned to be innocent, at times. Self-aware, cynical too.

But here I am, trying to have a Jerry Maguire moment of my own. Not sure If I’m getting across. Just wanted to be naked for a moment. If only for a moment.