Granted I’ve read some disturbing/hilarious tales of horror in Clients From Hell (see a few samples below), I’m fairly certain that I could contribute with my own Tale Of The Missing Paycheck or This Department Does Not Have Any Records Of Your Invoice, Please Talk To The Person You Left The Invoice With (4 months ago). I have no time to elaborate, but rest assured, I am not a happy camper…

Cautionary tale for freelancer workers and all, I hope that you are more careful when choosing to secure payment during a freelance project. Unless you choose to enter, The Twilight Zone!

“I never thought I’d have to pay you! I bought the coffee whenever we met AND I baked you a cake on your birthday!”

— The most thoughtless AND thoughtful response to $2,000 in overdue fees I’ve ever received.

Client: Yeah, we’re not paying for this.

Me: Why not? I’ve spent three weeks on this.

Client: Because we can just use the sample you sent us. Think ahead next time.

Me: But it has the words ‘sample’ across it and it’s four times too small.

Client: Ah. Crap. We need you to send us the final version then.

Me: After I receive payment, sure.

Client: Is that really necessary?


“That looks gay. Make it more sexist, but be subtle.”


3 thoughts on “I bet that’s what being in The Twilight Zone felt like

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