The Duffboy Lounge

Searching for answers amidst the mayhem.

Bret Easton Ellis has a point (several, actually)

He is one of my favorite writers. Also, he has tweeted stuff that I find quite disturbing. Be that as it may, in a recent essay titled In the Reign of the Gay Magical Elves, he voices his discontent (to say the least), with the “the reign of The Gay Man as Magical Elf, who whenever he comes out appears before us as some kind of saintly E.T. whose sole purpose is to be put in the position of reminding us only about Tolerance and Our Own Prejudices and To Feel Good About Ourselves and to be a symbol instead of just being a gay dude”.

He means, specifically, the way the public reacted to NBA Jason Collins’ coming out in Sports Illustrated and the way the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, GLAAD, does not necessarily represent an inclusive approach to all opinions related to the gay community:

“Gay activists dive-bombing other gays who express an opinion that doesn’t lean toward their agenda means that within the gay world we are living in a very simplistic place. A barbed observational opinion tweeted by a gay man about gay men in Hollywood—and not directed at anyone—becomes, in the world of GLAAD, hate-speech. When a community prides itself on its differences and uniqueness and bans the gay man because of the way the gay man expresses himself—then a corporate PC [political correct] fascism has been put into play that needs to be seriously reconsidered by the LGBT community”, he writes.

Though I disagree with his nonchalant way of joking about HIV, you gotta admit that the man was a point.

P.S. I also find Glee quite annoying.

Nearly motionless

We lie there, nearly motionless, submissive participants to it all.

Duffboy imagery

That is why we are here

Via GHRC (Guatemala Human Rights Comission)

…Ríos Montt was found guilty of masterminding and overseeing the massacre of 1,771 Ixil Mayans in the department of El Quiché, as well as the forced displacement of 29,000, and 1,485 acts of sexual violence and acts of torture. He was sentenced to 80 years in prison and was ordered into police custody. His director of Military Intelligence, Jose Mauricio Rodriguez Sánchez, was absolved of both crimes.

During a one hour statement, Judge Barrios recounted evidence of the indiscriminate massacres committed against the civilian Ixil population, systematic physical and psychological control meant to destroy the social fabric of the Ixil culture. She noted the brutal use of sexual violence. These acts were carried out as state policy and destroyed 5.5% of the Ixil population.

Over the course of the trial, 100 survivors testified in the trial which began on March 19. They were joined by dozens of expert witnesses. In closing arguments yesterday, Benjamín Jerónimo, a survivor and representative of the Association for Justice and Reconciliation, stated: “We are not looking for vengeance; we are looking for a true peace with justice, with respect, with equality, with dignity, that is why we are here.”

Living behind guarded gates: an interview with Mick Ukleja

Last year, I believe, I got to meet and interview best-selling author Mick Ukleja. I am kicking myself for not sharing this great moment in this blog.

At the time of the interview, he had been 7 times to Guatemala.

More of a pleasure visit instead than just business, right?

Well, it`s never been just pleasure, although he [his liaison] tries to make it fun. [laughs]

According to your research, what are the most common reasons why people experience self-doubt?

That`s a great question, by the way. I think we often times don`t understand that we have more strength and willpower that we do. We look at everybody else,  looking at people and comparing ourselves. And so, I`m looking outside of myself, I`m looking at you and seeing: “Gee, he`s better looking than me, he`s smarter than me”. People never feel good enough: “It`s not enough, I`m not pretty enough, I`m not smart enough, I don`t have enough money”. Everybody, by the way, has self-doubt. The key is to realize that there`s no reason to have that self-doubt, that if we can begin to discover who we are deep down inside and discover that we have strengths and that we have talents, gifts, we can do just about it anything we want.

My problem will come when I compare myself with you. When I start comparing myself with you instead of seeing what I really have to offer I will always begin to self-doubt. Most people do that. If I were to say to you, “[What are you] on a scale of 1 to 10 (I`m not sure what you would say)” what would you say?

I would say I`m probably between a 6 or a 7.

And I would say you`re [grading yourself]  low. I see about an 8 or 9 in you. But, see, we always doubt ourselves. What I began to realize is we`re all in the same boat and we need to, rather than have self-doubt, look and see what I have to offer. I call it “self-leadership” and self-leadership means that I need to discover the strategies, behaviors and habits that will help me exert influence over myself and I can deploy my best self. I have a lot to offer and if I develop my own gifts, my own strengths, my own talents and look for ways to serve other people.

By the way, that’s another thing, one of the key things about self-doubt… the best way I can get over my self-doubt is that I can look to solve one of your problems: how can I help you become better? And it’s amazing how that self-doubt begins to go away. When I start to serve other people, which are my motivations, I want to serve you, by looking for ways to make you better, my self-doubt begins to go away, begins to fade. So, life-long service, life-long I have to maximize my talents but I see those talents as me reaching out and serving someone else. And if people would just begin to do that and start to believe in themselves just a bit, and realize what they’ve been given, they have so much to be thankful for. It’s amazing how that works.

The sound of breaking hearts

I once thought about “dedicating” this Sheryl Crow  song to Duffgirl  (I could only remember the chorus). Good thing I didn’t. Still love the song, though.

“Home”

I woke up this morning
Now I understand
What it means to give your life
To just one man
Afraid of feeling nothing
No bees or butterflies
My head is full of voices
And my house is full of lies

[chorus]
This is home, home
And this is home, home
This is home

I found you standing there
When I was seventeen
Now I’m thirty-two
And I can’t remember what I’d seen in you
I made a promise
Said it everyday
Now I’m reading romance novels
And I’m dreaming of yesterday

[Chorus]

I’d like to see the Riviera
And slow dance underneath the stars
I’d like to watch the sun come up
In a stranger’s arms

[Chorus]

I’m going crazy
A little everyday
And everything I wanted
Is now driving me away
I woke this morning
To the sound of breaking hearts
Mine is full of questions
And it’s tearing yours apart…

Freebies

I am grateful for online independent publishing. This reminds me, I must upload a free e-book just now